Until Death
by Prouvaire
Summary: In the moments between life and death, Sirius remembers the one person he had lived for. Spoilers for OotP


A/n: This wasn't betaed or anything, it's more like a draft. However, I'm too lazy to change anything about it, so if it seems a little rough, you know why. Sorry about it if it's hard on your eyes, though. Most of my fics will be.  
  
I don't own any of these characters, so don't sue.  
  
-Until Death-  
  
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Sirius' eyes widened. He felt himself falling from the blow, the soft brush of the veil, and saw Harry's face fading from view.   
  
'You look so much like your father.'  
  
Blackness engulfed him. Something like a cold wind blew around him, and it felt like his breath was being sucked out of him. "James..." he whispered into the dark, and suddenly stopped breathing.  
  
'Wait for me.'  
  
//"I don't want to graduate." The voice of his friend made Sirius look up.  
  
"Why the hell not?" he asked incredulously. He closed his book and looked at James susupiciously. James just smiled, from where he knelt by Sirius' bed. He picked up his quill again.  
  
"Dunno. Must've hit my head or something." The messy-haired boy grinned forcedly and got back to his homework. Sirius watched him closely.  
  
He then snorted, stretching in his laying position, but James just kept scribbling on the parchment.  
  
"Don't tell me you're going to miss it here...." the boy raised an eyebrow.  
  
James looked up and raised one back, higher than Sirius. "It's not that, duh." There was a long pause, James' quill hanging in the air over the paper and his eyes glued to it. "I just....liked how these past years were."  
  
"Me, too, mate." Sirius said lightly, placing his arms behind his head.  
  
James sighed. "I'm trying to say this without sounding stupid. "I'm..." he rested his quill and parchment on the bed, giving up all hope of getting the work finished.  
  
Sirius smirked, "You're going to miss me, aren't you, Prongs Darling?"  
  
"Yes, all of you." James didn't smile, just stared at his hands. "I don't want this to end."  
  
Sirius' eyes drifted away from James, and towards the ceiling. He realized exactly what James was saying.  
  
"You'll have fun once you graduate," he said quietly. "You're really smart, you have Lily now...plus, we're all kind of a bad influence on eachother." he half-smiled.  
  
James smiled too, but they still looked away from eachother. But it would be easy for Sirius to see his eyes held no happiness in them. "Yeah, getting a job will be easy. And...." he swallowed thickly. "I think I and Lily will get married; I really do. I really love her."  
  
Sirius closed his eyes. "Right," he said softly.  
  
"And we'll probably see eachother often. My mom loves having you over..."  
  
At that Sirius felt himself smile wistfully. "Yeah, who doesn't..." he murmered.  
  
James swallowed again. "But it won't be the same." he said barely above a whisper. "Remus and Peter aren't going to be there... we'll all be so busy we won't see eachother as much. We'll be adults when we graduate. There will be too much on our mind and we'll forget everything that happened....no more kitchen raids. No more Marauders. No more full moons--"  
  
"Shut up, James." Sirius cut him off. He couldn't handle listening to the inevitable truth.  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
"It's all going to end when we graduate. It's ending right now..."  
  
There was another silence.  
  
"I know..." Sirius said. His hand slowly moved upwards, covering his eyes.  
  
James looked up finally. "We're drifting apart." he said quietly.  
  
"I know..." Sirius said again, with great difficulty. James heard his friend's forced tone and felt a sting in the corner of his eyes.  
  
A lump rose in his throat, and it hurt terribly when he spoke.  
  
"I like everyone too much...I don't want it to end..." James said again. He finished breathlessly as he felt his voice waver. He stared at Sirius until his vision blurred. ".....I like you too much..."  
  
He rose and then hesitantly laid by Sirius, curling up by his friend's side.  
  
Sirius' hand slowly moved from his eyes and he really looked at James for the first time ever. A pity he hadn't before. At that moment he loved James more than anything.  
  
"Then it doesn't have to end." he said firmly. He got on all fours on top of James and his eyes locked with his oldest, most treasured friend.  
  
"Not now." he leaned forward and kissed him hard and desperately. His hands moved under James' robes, James' sliding down to unzip his pants.  
  
'Not ever.' was the silent promise.  
  
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Something was defnitely wrong, Sirius could feel it in his stomach. He flew quickly to Godric's Hollow, his heart thudding in his chest as his anxiousness increased. He barely remembered the dream that had woken him up, but he knew James and Harry had been in it. And they had been....  
  
The air seemed quiet in the clearing where Lily and James' house stood. There were no sounds at all coming from or around the house, but the lights inside were on. And the front door was open slightly.  
  
Sirius' stomach twisted.  
  
"James?" he asked quietly, pushing the door open further. It hit something.  
  
Sirius stepped inside and froze at the sight.  
  
His old friend lay lifelessly on the floor, sprawled and bleeding slightly were it looked like someone had scratched him. His eyes stared at Sirius.  
  
"Ja...." he started breathlessly. He paled, numbly falling to his knees beside his friend's body.  
  
"James....?" he asked again, but it came out like a choked sob. But how strange; he wasn't crying. He reached out and shook the other man's shoulder gently, but nothing happened.  
  
Sirius took him by his shoulders more firmly, sitting him up.  
  
"Please wake up..." he whispered, his eyes wide.  
  
He shook James violently. The man's glasses fell and broke as his head fell back, but his eyes were still glazed and unseeing like a doll's.  
  
Sirius laughed unbelievingly, shaking him more softly. "...Jamie....Prongs...." he tried again. He looked into his hazel eyes but still they stared forward. His eyes had always enchanted Sirius....  
  
His hand suddenly felt warm and sticky. Sirius looked down senselessly.  
  
James' blood slowly trickled down his hand to his wrist. His breath caught in his throat and he wiped it off. James' blood...his life on his hands and staining his clothes...all that was left of his life.  
  
A sob escaped him and his eyes blurred more and more until he tasted tears. He shut his mouth.  
  
He swallowed thickly as his hand trailed down to his friend's wrist, pausing for just a moment.  
  
No.....  
  
Sirius' dropped James suddenly and stood for a long moment, memorizing everything about James. "You're still here...." he whispered.  
  
He ran up the stairs as quickly as he could, his breath coming out in short gasps. His mind was blank save for the name of the little boy that he prayed was safe and sleeping, still alive. He then entered the dimly lit room.  
  
Sirius was vaguely aware of his whole body shaking as he stumbled mindlessly over Lily, only seeing the small bundle on the floor before him.  
  
James would want more than anything to have his son grow up.  
  
"Harry...." he managed. He fell again to his knees. He picked up the baby with trembling hands. He smiled.  
  
He would keep his promise. Until death....//  
  
The shadows drifted away. Thw world seemed lighter, and warmer; nothing like the last months of his life had been spent. He was so tired of running, being trapped and unable to breathe. But suddenly he could.  
  
Sirius slowly opened his eyes, and they met James' smiling ones. His eyes had always enchanted him....  
  
"I love you." Sirius said.  
  
And after.  
  
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The End.  
  
"Real love is forever."-The Crow. 


End file.
